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My Asshole Pills

Updated: Jun 13, 2022

I am ADHD. I spent a long time in my life not knowing that fact, and that lead to a lot of troubles in my world. But being diagnosed at the tender age of 44, and getting on the right medication has led me to a career change, a better marriage and a life that I was supposed to live.

This was me just prior to leaving Connecticut. I was losing my mind.

In July 2020, I was prescribed 60 mg of Atomoxetine. Its commercial name is "Straterra" and for me, it has changed my life. Before Atamoxetine I was an asshole, after it, I am not.

Let me explain.

I was married in December 2017 to a lovely lady named "Jennifer". The year before, I buried my mother from lung cancer and four years before that, I lost my life's work as the founder of a non-profit called Connecticut Community Boating. I was not in the best emotional shape to get into a life commitment, but I did anyway.

Jennifer and I lived in a tiny little house in Beaufort, NC. We had access to the sea, a pair of the best damn dogs anyone could ever want, and a marriage on the rocks.

Jen's biggest beef with me was that I never listened. She would be talking to me and I would look at my phone and drift off to some other subject, in some other land, in some other dimension, never once letting her know that I was leaving planet earth.

At first, I think she just chalked it up to me being a male. My listening skills were epicly underwhelming. You could be talking right to my face and I would check out.

In college, my buddy Ryan noticed it too. He would be talking, and I would just get and walk out of the room. He asked me about it a few times, and I told him I hadn't even noticed he was talking.

Jennifer did not take it as well as Ryan did. It got so bad that she started accusing me of ignoring her and the arguments ensued. This is how it would typically go:

Jennifer: I had a rough day at work today. The doctor yelled at me and I got into a fight with Heather.

Me: Really? I am sorry what happened.

Jennifer: Well, the doctor said I misfiled this chart and actually Heather had it on her desk...

(My phone chimes and I look at it)

30 mins pass and look up from my phone.

Me: Why did you stop talking? What happened with the doctor and Heather?

Jennifer: I stopped talking to you 20 minutes ago when I noticed you weren't listening to me.

Me: That's not possible. Why do you set these traps for me? Great Job, Jen, you got me again.

(coffee cup flies off the table and smashes inches from my head)

That is a dramatization, of course, but it is based on actual events.

I felt she was setting traps for me, and she felt I was ignoring her. I pleaded with her to try and get her to understand that I didn't know I was doing it, so I couldn'